Uncommon Sense
I've heard people say that there is an inverse correlation between intelligence and common sense, meaning that the more intelligent a person is, than the less common sense that person possesses. Having a child whose IQ testing shows him to have an IQ number larger than the national debt, I can provide a substantial amount of data to support the accuracy of that theory!
Here is a child, who at 5 years of age, was asking me if we had bones in our ear lobes. After responding in the negative, I went on to explain that we have what is called “cartilage” in our ear lobes, which I likened to gristle on a chicken. I further explained that if we had bones in our ear lobes, then they wouldn’t bend like they do, since bones don’t bend. I felt very smug with my explanation and 5-year-old-understandable-analogy. But my inquisitive child was not going to let it end so quickly! After a pause that was just long enough for my smugness to settle in, this child contradicted me by pointing out that we have bones in our legs and arms, and yet they bend! So I then launched into yet another anatomy lesson, this time about joints, which again included 5-year-old-understandable analogies.
But this child - who is now 12 - cannot seem to grasp any mundane, day-to-day survival concepts. He cannot, for example, understand how the clothes which he stuffed into his drawers – after being washed and neatly folded by his mother – became so incredibly wrinkled, that they just “absolutely, cannot” be worn to school that day. Or why he can never find his shoes, which he refuses to take off in the same place more than twice in the same month. And he can’t (won’t?) remember the simplest of house rules, and constantly argues against the dictatorial regime under which he is forced to live. A sampling of these stifling restrictions include commandments like “Thou shalt not leave dirty socks in the middle of the family room for more than 1 week”, “Thou shalt put away the clothes that thy parents have washed, dried and folded” and “Thy room shall be clean enough to allow people to enter without tripping over hazardous items, necessitating a trip to the emergency room”.
Now I believe that children thrive in an environment where certain things are predictable, and where a certain amount of routine can be counted on. We eat three times a day (at least!) and we go to bed at approximately the same time every night. Our kids know that their dad and I will always be here to help them with their homework, listen to their gripes and provide for their basic food and sheltering needs. They know that we will get them to their individual activities during the week, and that we attend religious services as a family on the weekend. They know which drawers contain their clothes, which shelves have their books, which toy buckets hold the markers and where to find extra paper for the computer printer.
I have tried over and over to impress upon them, the importance of them creating their own “dependable environment”; of finding a time, method or place for everything and then utilizing that chosen time/method/location. But day after day, we deal with the shoes that run away, the clothes that wrinkle themselves and the ever popular “I don’t remember”. How is it that a child who never let us skip a page of a bedtime book – long before he could read even a letter – cannot remember to take his lunchbox to school; whether he has any homework; what time he is supposed to show up at a friend’s party; or what was said to him 10 minutes ago?! Now some of this might be normal, but it is maddening! I would like to see a scientific study performed on children, to determine how they can remember the 22 different button combinations necessary to perform each action in a video game, but not remember to drain the tub after taking a bath?
And how is it, that when this first born of mine wants information on how to beat a “boss” in a video game, he has no problem searching the internet, or returning to a site that he previously figured out how to bookmark? And he does all of this without any input from me whatsoever. Now the fact that I’ve made my distaste for video games abundantly clear, may have something to do with that. But when asked to perform those same tasks to locate information to facilitate the completion of a research paper or other homework, how is it, that he is suddenly Internet-challenged? He is abruptly so computer illiterate, that his every keystroke must be discussed with me ad nauseum. Here is how a typical conversation goes.
Son: Where can I get information on the Civil War (or another topic du jour)?
Me: Why don’t you check the Internet?
Son: Where should I go?
Me: I don’t know off hand, try a search.
Son: What should I search on?
Me: Hmmmm, I’m not sure. How about “Clown Juggling”?
Son: Moooooooommmmmmmmmm
Me: OK, how about “American Civil War”
after search has been performed….
Son: How do I know which of these sites has what I need?
Me: You don’t honey, just start at the top and go down the list.
Son: That will take too long. Can’t you just tell me about the war?
Me: Me? I’m not an approved research periodical.
Son: Don’t you remember it? (after noticing the look of rage on my face, proceeds with…) Never mind, can you check these sites and tell me which ones to use?
Me: Sorry, I’ve already done 6th grade, it’s your turn.
Son: This will take me forever.
Me: Well, you’ve got all afternoon to work on it, right?
Son: I can’t spend all afternoon on this, I’ve got 3 bosses to beat!
So this morning, as Mr. Intelligence left for school – sans his lunchbox, again – I sighed and asked my husband to drop it off on his way to work. And as I sat down with a cup of coffee – amid the 3 day old dirty socks – I found solace in the fact that I’ve heard that Einstein was no piece of cake to raise, either. And maybe one day, with his mind uncluttered from the normal day-to-day tediums of life, he will make some wonderful discovery to benefit all of mankind. A cure for cancer. A car with no pollution. An end to wars. Or better yet, a Common Sense pill for moms to give to their highly intelligent offspring, so that solutions to world problems could be achieved without having to miss lunch!
Here is a child, who at 5 years of age, was asking me if we had bones in our ear lobes. After responding in the negative, I went on to explain that we have what is called “cartilage” in our ear lobes, which I likened to gristle on a chicken. I further explained that if we had bones in our ear lobes, then they wouldn’t bend like they do, since bones don’t bend. I felt very smug with my explanation and 5-year-old-understandable-analogy. But my inquisitive child was not going to let it end so quickly! After a pause that was just long enough for my smugness to settle in, this child contradicted me by pointing out that we have bones in our legs and arms, and yet they bend! So I then launched into yet another anatomy lesson, this time about joints, which again included 5-year-old-understandable analogies.
But this child - who is now 12 - cannot seem to grasp any mundane, day-to-day survival concepts. He cannot, for example, understand how the clothes which he stuffed into his drawers – after being washed and neatly folded by his mother – became so incredibly wrinkled, that they just “absolutely, cannot” be worn to school that day. Or why he can never find his shoes, which he refuses to take off in the same place more than twice in the same month. And he can’t (won’t?) remember the simplest of house rules, and constantly argues against the dictatorial regime under which he is forced to live. A sampling of these stifling restrictions include commandments like “Thou shalt not leave dirty socks in the middle of the family room for more than 1 week”, “Thou shalt put away the clothes that thy parents have washed, dried and folded” and “Thy room shall be clean enough to allow people to enter without tripping over hazardous items, necessitating a trip to the emergency room”.
Now I believe that children thrive in an environment where certain things are predictable, and where a certain amount of routine can be counted on. We eat three times a day (at least!) and we go to bed at approximately the same time every night. Our kids know that their dad and I will always be here to help them with their homework, listen to their gripes and provide for their basic food and sheltering needs. They know that we will get them to their individual activities during the week, and that we attend religious services as a family on the weekend. They know which drawers contain their clothes, which shelves have their books, which toy buckets hold the markers and where to find extra paper for the computer printer.
I have tried over and over to impress upon them, the importance of them creating their own “dependable environment”; of finding a time, method or place for everything and then utilizing that chosen time/method/location. But day after day, we deal with the shoes that run away, the clothes that wrinkle themselves and the ever popular “I don’t remember”. How is it that a child who never let us skip a page of a bedtime book – long before he could read even a letter – cannot remember to take his lunchbox to school; whether he has any homework; what time he is supposed to show up at a friend’s party; or what was said to him 10 minutes ago?! Now some of this might be normal, but it is maddening! I would like to see a scientific study performed on children, to determine how they can remember the 22 different button combinations necessary to perform each action in a video game, but not remember to drain the tub after taking a bath?
And how is it, that when this first born of mine wants information on how to beat a “boss” in a video game, he has no problem searching the internet, or returning to a site that he previously figured out how to bookmark? And he does all of this without any input from me whatsoever. Now the fact that I’ve made my distaste for video games abundantly clear, may have something to do with that. But when asked to perform those same tasks to locate information to facilitate the completion of a research paper or other homework, how is it, that he is suddenly Internet-challenged? He is abruptly so computer illiterate, that his every keystroke must be discussed with me ad nauseum. Here is how a typical conversation goes.
Son: Where can I get information on the Civil War (or another topic du jour)?
Me: Why don’t you check the Internet?
Son: Where should I go?
Me: I don’t know off hand, try a search.
Son: What should I search on?
Me: Hmmmm, I’m not sure. How about “Clown Juggling”?
Son: Moooooooommmmmmmmmm
Me: OK, how about “American Civil War”
after search has been performed….
Son: How do I know which of these sites has what I need?
Me: You don’t honey, just start at the top and go down the list.
Son: That will take too long. Can’t you just tell me about the war?
Me: Me? I’m not an approved research periodical.
Son: Don’t you remember it? (after noticing the look of rage on my face, proceeds with…) Never mind, can you check these sites and tell me which ones to use?
Me: Sorry, I’ve already done 6th grade, it’s your turn.
Son: This will take me forever.
Me: Well, you’ve got all afternoon to work on it, right?
Son: I can’t spend all afternoon on this, I’ve got 3 bosses to beat!
So this morning, as Mr. Intelligence left for school – sans his lunchbox, again – I sighed and asked my husband to drop it off on his way to work. And as I sat down with a cup of coffee – amid the 3 day old dirty socks – I found solace in the fact that I’ve heard that Einstein was no piece of cake to raise, either. And maybe one day, with his mind uncluttered from the normal day-to-day tediums of life, he will make some wonderful discovery to benefit all of mankind. A cure for cancer. A car with no pollution. An end to wars. Or better yet, a Common Sense pill for moms to give to their highly intelligent offspring, so that solutions to world problems could be achieved without having to miss lunch!