Getting Older . . . and Better!
I will be turning 40 next month, and thanks to many well meaning friends and family, I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. According to the Centers for Disease Control, the life expectancy of Americans in 1998, was 76.7 years. So I can safely assume that I’m definitely in my “middle age”. If you’ve been lucky enough to reach this milestone, then you, too, have heard all the jokes. People tell you ‘it’s all down hill from here’, put up signs announcing ‘Lordy, Lordy, Susie’s 40’ surrounded by black balloons and attribute any mildly odd behaviors you exhibit, to the fact that you’re obviously having a ‘mid-life crisis’. The intense scrutiny under which your actions are viewed is like living in a fishbowl.
I have never spent much time thinking about age, and I always pitied those who did. I was always too busy enjoying my life, to worry about what year of my life I was enjoying! But as I approach the “Big Four-Oh”, I find myself both confused and amazed.
I am confused, because I certainly don’t feel 40! When I was a kid, I thought that at 40, you were “settled”. I imagined my parents’ lives to be completely predictable and routine. In a word - dull! But my life is anything but! The past two years are a perfect example. My husband took a new job, we moved to a new city and we welcomed a wonderful and unexpected addition to our family, who is now 20 months old and the apple of his siblings’ eyes! I don’t feel “grown up”, either. I still play ball with my oldest son; my daughter and I paint each other’s nails, and argue about whether The Backstreet Boys are cuter than ‘NSync; and the baby and I roll in the grass. I still live in blue jeans and t-shirts, a point which was recently noted by our 7 year old daughter.
My husband and I were attending his company’s annual holiday party - a festive evening cruise with dinner and dancing. While giving the babysitter last minute instructions and saying goodbye to the kids, my daughter ran to give me a hug. “Wow!”, she exclaimed, “you look like a lady! And you’re even wearing stockings!” Ouch! The problem is, I still feel like I’m 25!
But I am also amazed, because I truly relish my life. Even with the twists and turns that it has taken, and the ups and downs that my family and I have been through, I honestly feel that it is a wonderful life. And I wouldn’t trade it for all the money in the world! I am amazed, too, because my mother died when she was only 39 years old. So every day that I live, are days with my family and times in my children’s lives, that she never had a chance to experience.
I sometimes wonder how my life would have been different, had my mother lived. But I believe that who we are, is a direct result of all our previous experiences. If I could have avoided some of the less pleasant ones, I would not have experienced the growth that resulted from them. And since there is positive and negative in everything, in order to avoid the negative, I would most certainly have missed out on much positive. As Garth Brooks said, “I could have missed the pain, but I’d have had to miss the dance”.
During the planning of my high school’s 20th reunion recently, a friend and I were discussing our memories of high school.
“Wouldn’t you like to go back?” she asked me, “those were the days!” I thought for a minute before replying.
“Only if I could go back as the person that I am now,” was my response. You see, according to the calendar, I am getting older. But in my heart and soul, I know that I am getting better. Go back? To what? To worrying about fitting in, getting dates, passing classes, being scared of new challenges? No thanks. Go back to feeling like any failure was fatal? Or that not being invited to a party or getting a part in a play was the absolute end of my life? No way. The person I am now, realizes that we all make mistakes, but that life does give us “do-overs”. I learn from those mistakes, and vow to do better on the next try. I’ve grown to the point where I am pretty comfortable with who I am, and have my priorities clearly defined. (OK, I could live without those extra 10 pounds, but they seem to have found their home!) Who’s to say that if I went back in time, that I wouldn’t lose some of what I treasure today? My children, my friends and family, and my faith. Those are the priorities of this old woman . . . and I’m proud of it! So I will continue to wear blue jeans, play ball and try to keep up with the current teen idols. I will not worry about what I “should” be doing, but just keep doing what works for my family and me. And I will continue to live by the words of a t-shirt I saw (eons ago!) in my youth. “Age is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it don’t matter”.
I have never spent much time thinking about age, and I always pitied those who did. I was always too busy enjoying my life, to worry about what year of my life I was enjoying! But as I approach the “Big Four-Oh”, I find myself both confused and amazed.
I am confused, because I certainly don’t feel 40! When I was a kid, I thought that at 40, you were “settled”. I imagined my parents’ lives to be completely predictable and routine. In a word - dull! But my life is anything but! The past two years are a perfect example. My husband took a new job, we moved to a new city and we welcomed a wonderful and unexpected addition to our family, who is now 20 months old and the apple of his siblings’ eyes! I don’t feel “grown up”, either. I still play ball with my oldest son; my daughter and I paint each other’s nails, and argue about whether The Backstreet Boys are cuter than ‘NSync; and the baby and I roll in the grass. I still live in blue jeans and t-shirts, a point which was recently noted by our 7 year old daughter.
My husband and I were attending his company’s annual holiday party - a festive evening cruise with dinner and dancing. While giving the babysitter last minute instructions and saying goodbye to the kids, my daughter ran to give me a hug. “Wow!”, she exclaimed, “you look like a lady! And you’re even wearing stockings!” Ouch! The problem is, I still feel like I’m 25!
But I am also amazed, because I truly relish my life. Even with the twists and turns that it has taken, and the ups and downs that my family and I have been through, I honestly feel that it is a wonderful life. And I wouldn’t trade it for all the money in the world! I am amazed, too, because my mother died when she was only 39 years old. So every day that I live, are days with my family and times in my children’s lives, that she never had a chance to experience.
I sometimes wonder how my life would have been different, had my mother lived. But I believe that who we are, is a direct result of all our previous experiences. If I could have avoided some of the less pleasant ones, I would not have experienced the growth that resulted from them. And since there is positive and negative in everything, in order to avoid the negative, I would most certainly have missed out on much positive. As Garth Brooks said, “I could have missed the pain, but I’d have had to miss the dance”.
During the planning of my high school’s 20th reunion recently, a friend and I were discussing our memories of high school.
“Wouldn’t you like to go back?” she asked me, “those were the days!” I thought for a minute before replying.
“Only if I could go back as the person that I am now,” was my response. You see, according to the calendar, I am getting older. But in my heart and soul, I know that I am getting better. Go back? To what? To worrying about fitting in, getting dates, passing classes, being scared of new challenges? No thanks. Go back to feeling like any failure was fatal? Or that not being invited to a party or getting a part in a play was the absolute end of my life? No way. The person I am now, realizes that we all make mistakes, but that life does give us “do-overs”. I learn from those mistakes, and vow to do better on the next try. I’ve grown to the point where I am pretty comfortable with who I am, and have my priorities clearly defined. (OK, I could live without those extra 10 pounds, but they seem to have found their home!) Who’s to say that if I went back in time, that I wouldn’t lose some of what I treasure today? My children, my friends and family, and my faith. Those are the priorities of this old woman . . . and I’m proud of it! So I will continue to wear blue jeans, play ball and try to keep up with the current teen idols. I will not worry about what I “should” be doing, but just keep doing what works for my family and me. And I will continue to live by the words of a t-shirt I saw (eons ago!) in my youth. “Age is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it don’t matter”.